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Marriage Matters (part 3) - Love & Respect

October 4

Know Your Relational Posture

Ephesians 5:21-33

Instructions for Christian Households

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.


22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.


25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Reflection Questions

  • Read Ephesians 5:21-33 together. How does verse 21 impact the way you read verses 22-24?


  • Ed said that Paul addresses husbands and wives differently because they have different needs by design.
  • We both need love and respect. Men tend to have a deeper need for respect. Women tend to have a deeper need to be loved. How do you see this in one another? 
  • Do you agree?


  • Husband, what are some ways your wife respects you? Give specific examples if you can.


  • Wife, are there things that make respect hard for you (from your own history or from the relationship)?


  • Wife, are there things you can do to grow in this posture? Are there things your husband can do to help?


  • Wife, how has your husband loved you? Give specific examples if you can.


  • Husband, are there things that make loving hard for you (from your own history or from the relationship)?


  • Husband, are there ways you can grow in your choice to love? Are there things your wife can do to help you?


  • What is the purpose of your marriage? How are you doing on that purpose?


  • Is there an active spiritual life in your home? What specific (manageable) things can you do to grow in this area?

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